steph's blog

woweee...haven't posted for a while!! guess it's about time for an update...time is passing so, so quickly...it seems like yesterday i was just a freshman, and now here i am, and it's 10 days today until i graduate. i have a confess i'm a bit terrified, i mean, isn't it normal to be scared of leaving everything i've ever known, every friend i've ever made, and trading them all in for some blank walls and blank stares? it didn't really hit me that i'm going to UT until about five minutes ago when i watched the senior section of the band video again and there under my name it lists my destination, and i was like wow, that's it, isn't it? it seems so final, so irreversable, so permenant, even though i know if i'm not happy it's not permenant at all, but still...it's scary.

things change so fast these days that it scares me. romance blossoms quicker than the blink of an eye, goes deeper than i ever thought it could both eternally and all at once. i say the latter because the last few weeks have drawn me closer to tyler than i've ever been before. i can be minutes or miles away from him and feel like he's right next to me. it's such a comforting presence. something is growing in me that i can't really define in relation to my feelings for him. all i know is that when i'm in his arms i feel like superwoman. i feel like i can do anything because i am loved and believed in. it's the best feeling in the world.

the other best feeling in the world, besides being in the arms of someone you love, is that of accomplishment. i've been working on music for a senior piano recital for a year and a half. that recital was yesterday evening, followed by a reception at my house. tyler remarked to me that i looked really happy at the reception, and he was correct...i've been working so long that the journey means more to me than the destination. (which is good, because some stuff on my recital was not-so-hot...) but yesterday i was touched by the people who touch my life with their radiance, their intelligence, and above all their unconditional love. and i realized that i'm really going to miss these people when i'm gone. thank you everybody who came to my recital. you have no idea how much it meant to me to see you there. i can't even tell you how much of my time, tears, and sweat i've poured into that music. it is my life. music is my life. it's a passion i can't deny...

prom was excellent, band banquet was awesome, i'm not sure what else to say about them, except that i enjoyed both for different reasons. it was really nice to see everybody i knew at banquet and celebrate the year. prom was just cool because i got to get down and boogie with my man...yeah, that's right. whaz up baby. :-) hehehe...

last thing, i promise... i'm uber-excited about my senior scrapbook that i'm starting this week. i have so much stuff it's insane. so many pictures, so much crud to put in there, i can't wait, it's going to turn out awesome. i bet a lot of you didn't know that i'm a scrapbook junkie!! well, kinda...i've only really made two ever, and the first one kinda sucked, but this one is going to be the best by far. soooo cool...today my mom found a copy of the newspaper from the state game as well as a ticket. suh-weet....

"shoot for the moon, that way if you miss you'll fall among the stars"