steph's blog

when i made up my mind
and my heart along with that
to live not for myself
but yet for God, somebody said
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

when i finally ironed out
all of my priorities
and asked God to remove the doubt
that makes me unsure of these
things i ask myself, i ask myself
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

i'm getting into you
because you got to me
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into you
because i've got to be
you're essential to survive
i'm going to love you with my life

when he looked at me and said
"i kind of view you as a son"
and for a second our eyes met
and i met that with a question
"do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

i'm getting into you
because you got to me
in a way words can't describe
i'm getting into you
because i've got to be
you're essential to survive
i'm going to love you with my life

i've been a liar and i'll never amount to
the kind of person you deserve to worship you
you say you will not dwell on what i did but rather what i do
you say "i love you and that's what you are getting yourself into"

ever have one of those days where you're hypersensitive, not just to emotions but to ideas, to thoughts, to the world? everything people say makes you think. you dissect, research every thought, every song, everything. the world is an unending sea of water and you're a sponge. that's kind of how i feel today. i went to the career exploration center in some sort of desperate search to find something to do with my life. almost everyone i know knows. why don't i? i'm surrounded every day by people who want to be band directors, musicians...they're people with direction, they know what they want, and they know how to get it. why don't i? why do i feel so suffocated as a music major one day and love it the next? do you know what i looked at today in the CEC? music therapy. i don't know. today that seems like a really, really cool way to spend my life. i could help so many people who really need help. there are so many people out there who are touched by music and nothing else. music opens them up, it helps them get better, it helps them live again...

on days like these i'm extremely susceptible to music. play anything classical and i'll probably tear up because it's so beautiful. i'll spend an hour in a practice room and it'll seem like a few minutes. i think i've gone crazy. or maybe i'm falling in love all over again. it's the feeling i get when i sit down at a piano and pull chords out of it. it's the feeling i get playing chorales in the low registers of a marimba and feeling the vibrations of the instrument travel through the air, bounce off the walls and off my skin. when you're in love, it's the little things that matter, the little things that get to you, the little things that make you realize how lucky you are...