...

i want to go back to austin. i want it so bad that it hurts. i'm sick of the problems i'm having here, the problems caused by me being too far from the place i would like to call home. one more month until band starts up again, until the distance is erased. at times it seems like not very much, but right now a month just seems like eternity. i count the days. and every time i go home to austin i get this incredible feeling of serenity, even if it's only for a day... i take comfort in the knowledge that i am where i belong... and when i'm in my other home i wait for the time when i'll be back in austin again. it sucks that this place no longer feels like my home, because i wish it did, but it doesn't, and i can't change it... i don't know... i'm just... emotional... again. this entry is super-lame i know, but it's how i feel, it's how i think i can fix all of my problems, even if it's a false hope. don't get mad at me for saying this. i love my family and my friends here and it's for them that i even give this s'lake thing a try. but after this summer i don't know if i can do it again. we will just have to see i guess.

and now off to get a cavity filled. this day just gets better and better.