my focus is all crocused

even if you've known something for a while, hearing that thing actually being said is a surreal experience. it brings closure, but it also brings a sense of disappointment... it kills that tiny flame of hope that was within you that said that maybe, just maybe, you were wonderfully wrong about things, not because you still wanted what you wanted then but you just wanted to be proven wrong ... but you weren't. you were absolutely right, and it was awful.

this really isn't a recurring thought in my head. it's just been on my mind tonight.

not to keep it purposefully vague or anything.