almost home

one more day. i think i can do this.

i made a promise to myself and to jag that i wouldn't call him from my departure from san antonio until the 16th when we were returning. i have made good on that promise. i intended it to be a way of forcing myself to resolve problems internally-because whenever i'm depressed, whenever i'm lonely, or whenever i need someone to talk to, i have a nasty tendency of picking up the phone and pressing 7 on the speed-dial and with any luck he helps me sort it all out. blame it on my not being an only child while he is. i'm trying not to be so dependent. admittedly i hoped my playing hard-to-get would somehow lead to his calling me more, which backfired... but i'm not upset or anything. see? this is one independent, strong girl learning how to handle her loneliness by herself.

you see, i've never had this problem before. a solution to loneliness was always a fifteen-minute max drive away to the nearest best friend or boyfriend's house, or perhaps a walk across the house if someone was home, or, at the very least, a phone call. little by little i'm learning that sometimes that's not always possible. and i've dealt okay with that realization. i've visited the SL public library quite a bit over the break-great selection of DVD's, all free to check out, all for longer than blockbuster's rental periods. score. i've been napping a lot. and today i had lunch with miss sheri and went shopping with miss frangos (say hello to my three new sweaters!!) so see, i've done well over the break. i'm just ready to enter the madness once again. it's where i belong. it's where i thrive. it's a little bit of who i am.

so back to figure skating i go... definately not waiting next to my cell phone. i suppose some things will never change, huh?