steph's blog

new pics!! camping spring break '05 with the gals. they're on flickr. i think they should show up in my photo album here, too. good times, ladies ;-)

no bible study tonight, and i was really sad. i've been aching extra-especially hard for closeness with God for a few days now. i guess it's a good thing. i've just spent so much time and effort convincing myself that so much of what i used to know is processed and commercialized and the opposite of what Jesus really wants that it's hard to go back to it without feeling foolish. i don't know if i can. college has changed me more than i admit sometimes. i never used to be this skeptical reading christian literature. i never used to be so quick to find fault with religion. that still hasn't really changed-even though a lot of those influences on me have disappeared. and yet...i'm still yearning for the object of the institutions i've come to find so much fault with, still desiring closeness with Him to sustain me. it's so confusing. and i would've liked a christian audience to discuss it with tonight. but i suppose there's always next week...

humans need something to believe in or they perish. i lost my something to believe in, and it's showing...