lalalalalal35yawityopat

sometimes i love myself, and other times... just... ugggggggggggh. right now would be one of those latter times.

i've been in a really, really awful mood for about the past hour, brought on in part by my being tired and part by my being kind of sick, but mostly by me just being frustrated with myself. i feel anti-social. i've been trying to take care of myself this week, especially since i feel myself on the brink of sickness, but it's hard not to get down when everyone around you is getting closer every day and you don't feel like you're a part of that. some days are better than others. i was actually doing good earlier today. so what in the bloody hell happened? i don't know.

and the thing is, it's so easy to take that frustration and pin it on other people and say it's their fault for making you feel that way. but the truth is, only i can take responsibility for how i feel and how i act.

do you ever have thoughts that you shouldn't have, followed by an endless debate on why you shouldn't have them, resulting in even more thoughts you shouldn't have? argh.