steph's blog

i promised details, didn't i?

camp was amazing. i don't have the time or patience to write in here my day's schedule or everything that i did (call/im/e-mail if you're curious), but i did so much. i worked from 7 am to 9 pm straight, not including night trips to the bathroom, etc.-pretty much a 24 hour job. i met some amazing people-how many great things can i say about the staff i was working with (and not just because i think they might stumble upon my journal)? it was so great to have that support system where other people could relate to your experiences and give you some great advice. plus we had some good times all by ourselves ;-)

and then there were the people who came to camp-wow. i had so many varied experiences with so many varied people that i couldn't even begin to describe them all. the first week i was so unaccustomed to the beauty within each person that comes that i cried several times a day-tears of joy. my head (and therefore, my journal) were full of all these questions that, eventually, got answered, even though i can't put some of the answers to words. i don't think i'll ever realize, however, how much camp means to some of these people. it's a refuge for those from broken and hurting homes for some, a vacation from menial work for others, and a major social outlet for still others. it's a way for people and their caregivers and parents to connect with each other and find new solutions to old problems. i've never had such a deep look into the special needs population as a community. it was amazing.

at the same time though, i think i learned so much about the individuality of each person there. what worked for one person didn't always work for another. part of the challenge of the job was discovering what those things were and then pursuing them.

i think i had more laughs this summer than any other summer to date. it's okay to laugh sometimes. it accomplishes so much towards loosening up, letting go of the petty things, and erasing the remnants of a bad day.

and then vermont-it is absolutely beautiful. such a great change of pace, of scenery, of pretty much everything. the landscape changes so much that it never gets old. the coffee flows like water. sounds like heaven to me-and it was. i do miss that-looking out my window at the mountains with the clouds resting on them was such a treat.

but now i'm at my frickin HOUSE with jess and mari-and does it get any better than this? it's not perfect (it's an old house) but it's beautiful, it's lovely, it's everything i'd hoped. it's a shame i'll only be here for 9 months and that i couldn't live in this area longer. pictures to come, as soon as i put the rug down.

the thing is, since i've gotten back i've had these moments where i just feel unplugged into the things that usually keep me grounded. the things that i used to be completely into, the people i thought i knew front to back, the activities i used to enjoy-sometimes i lose myself in them and i just think "what am i doing here?" and "is this what i want?" it's interesting. we'll have to just see how this turns out...