steph's blog

i can't give up, can't give in
but something strange is holding me back
you're getting under my skin again
prepared for an emotional attack?

i teased you once, teased you twice
yet every time it's me who falls
gnawing holes in my strength like mice
until buckling under your weight i crawl

i cried a little, cried a lot
prayed you away when i was weak
emotional amnesia, i've forgot
the reasons that i used to seek

you make me silly, make me strong
make me doubt what i thought was true
and it's so hard, i feel so wrong
separated from the tangles of you

another random untitled poem. well, actually...it's not so random, but that's okay. will you pray for me? i feel so weak right now, so burdened under the weight i chose to bear upon myself, and i know all i need to do is give this up to god but i can't seem to. why? why can't i just give it up? do i not love my god enough to do what he says? i hate going to church with a burden like this on me. i can't seem to get into the worship, into the praise, into anything, when i'm in this kind of a funk.

more later, i need to go now.