this is me

64 Then the LORD will scatter you among all nations, from one end of the earth to the other. There you will worship other gods-gods of wood and stone, which neither you nor your fathers have known. 65 Among those nations you will find no repose, no resting place for the sole of your foot. There the LORD will give you an anxious mind, eyes weary with longing, and a despairing heart. 66 You will live in constant suspense, filled with dread both night and day, never sure of your life. 67 In the morning you will say, "If only it were evening!" and in the evening, "If only it were morning!"-because of the terror that will fill your hearts and the sights that your eyes will see. 68 The LORD will send you back in ships to Egypt on a journey I said you should never make again. There you will offer yourselves for sale to your enemies as male and female slaves, but no one will buy you.
(deuteronomy 28:64-68)

i ran across this verse last night while trying a keyword search on "mind" in the bible. i'm desparate to find some evidence that i can believe in God, call myself a Christian, and at the same time not ignore the incredible amounts of history that make liars and murderers out of the Christian church. an anxious mind. yeah, that describes me pretty well right now...