thoughtful

this girl can be such a jekyll and hyde sometimes. trying to fight against a side that's needy, afraid of being alone, and emotional wears me out. from the other side-the normal, happy, emotionally stable side-it's so easy to look at the other side and label it crazy, and label me crazy for ever going there, and swear never to go back again. from the heat of the moment, however, i feel alone against my little world and i'm filled with fear and with doubt. the things i know i knew i start to question. everything around me takes on a new meaning, a new interpretation that scares me. and i want so desperately to not be alone but rarely is that need of mine able to be filled. i don't know. i don't even know if i'm there right now. all i know is that i HATE being alone in moments like these, and i'm trying to wean myself off of other people (one in particular) when they come along. it's just so hard...