steph's blog

sometimes i wonder if other people see me as cold. i see symptoms of it on occasion: in their comments that i'm "quiet", "really into my studying", "hardcore", etc., in the way i get periodically excluded from things, in the way the world really seems to pass me by sometimes. and maybe i am those things in quotations above, and simply that. it's hard to explain. maybe just a feeling that when people single me out for being the quiet one, they believe i don't like them, have something against them, etc., when really i'm just not all that interested in talking if i have nothing to say.

did you know that, in a study done on bulimia and the media, they found that overweight men appear on tv FIVE TIMES MORE OFTEN than overweight women? it's truly amazing. and then they wonder why twelve year-olds start dieting and fifteen year-olds start taking laxatives to lose weight and what they end up losing instead is precious years of life.

i made the decision today never to call someone a whore, slut, ho, bitch, etc. ever again (not that i do it frequently to begin with, but still). because i'm sick and tired of girls complaining about the names the men in their live call them, and then proceeding to label other females with those same names. i never want to have evidence against me in this. it's degrading, and it's a HUGE double standard. i'm also incredibly thankful that i have a guy in my life who never calls me any of these names and never would. seems like those types are few and far between these days.

speaking of said guy, we will have been dating for a year and a half on nov. 2nd, which is this thursday for those of you at home... and to celebrate, we have rehearsal that night... plus i have a test, a steel pan gig, and a lesson. we will find time to celebrate, though. nice to end this post on a happy thought :-)... and a picture: